Can't decide between two guys I'm dating

Published: Oct 12, 2019, 05:30 IST | DR Love |

I would like to get into a serious relationship, but can't until I make up my mind and it is starting to affect my relationship with them.

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI have been in love with two men for a few months now, and it is starting to mess with my head because I can't choose between them. They are both great guys, with their own virtues and faults, which is what makes it hard for me to ditch one of them. I would like to get into a serious relationship, but can't until I make up my mind and it is starting to affect my relationship with them. I am afraid of losing both. How do I resolve this?

You want to have your cake and eat it too, and that's not going to happen. It isn't fair to them either. If you can't decide between the two, don't go out with either and consider a relationship with someone else. If that sounds unreasonable, pick one, stick to that decision, and do whatever you can to make it work. There is no way of knowing if you have made the right or wrong choice until you actually give something a chance.

My girlfriend and I have been together for three years now, and I think she is starting to get bored of me. She doesn't meet me as often as we used to and makes excuses when I call. What can I do to get her to be like she used to? I don't want her to break up with me. Please help.

If you think she's getting bored, it's probably because things aren't as exciting and new as they were when you first began dating. It happens to all relationships, which is why you both need to work hard to make sure you keep that interest alive. You can do this only if you both want this to work though, so I suggest you ask her that first. Tell her you recognise that things aren't the same, tell her why you want to work towards changing it, and ask for her help. Weathering rough patches comes with the territory and can actually make your relationship stronger.

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