Can't forget that he cheated on me

Updated: Jun 30, 2020, 07:26 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I found out that he cheated on me with a work colleague. He apologised and I forgave him, but I have never been able to get over it completely.

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr Love            I am going to marry my boyfriend at the end of the year, but I am not as happy about this as I should have been because of what happened a year ago. I found out that he cheated on me with a work colleague. He apologised and I forgave him, but I have never been able to get over it completely. I know he hasn't cheated on me since then, and I also know that he loves me very much. What bothers me is that he still works at that office and I have no way of knowing if he is still in touch with that woman. How do I cope with this?
Your fears are normal, because you have no way of controlling your fiancé and his relationship with this colleague. You have decided to forgive him though, and believe the past is behind you both. If that really is the case, the best way to manage this is to strengthen that trust by believing he will not cheat on you again. He hasn't given you any reason to doubt him, so this is more a question of managing your justifiable insecurity. Also, what you have done is extremely difficult. To rebuild trust that has been lost is often impossible. The only way to move forward is to accept him and his mistake and assume he is being honest with you until you have a genuine reason to doubt. That colleague of his should no longer matter.

My husband treats me like a roommate and doesn't understand why this bothers me. He does little housework even though we are both working professionals, and barely pulls his weight when it comes to managing things like shopping and paying utility bills. How do I change this?
Why not stop doing things until he gets the message that this is a partnership between equals? He believes things will run like clockwork because you do more than your share, so why not give him a little wake-up call?

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