Can't seem to get over my divorce...

Updated: 19 August, 2020 05:21 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

It has been two years since the divorce, and my husband has remarried

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

DR LOveI was married for three years and it wasn’t happy in any way. I loved my husband, but there were too many problems and we both decided to end it because it made sense. It has been two years since the divorce, and my husband has remarried. I haven’t even been able to go on a date because I can’t seem to be able to put this behind me. I am struggling with self-confidence and seem to have this fear of relationships because I don’t know if I can bear another one going wrong. What can I do to finally move on?

What you are going through is normal, given how emotionally invested you were in your last relationship. Your husband has moved on because he is clearly in a different emotional place, which is perfectly okay. Self-confidence takes time to build up, and your vulnerability means you may require more time than you think you do. I suggest you avoid putting pressure on yourself to get into a new relationship and simply focus on meeting new people. Allow yourself to make new friends, go out whenever possible, and acknowledge that what you have gone through is grief and trauma that takes time to heal. None of us can say whether a relationship will last forever or not. We are human though, and to keep trying is all that matters. There will come a time when you are ready to take that leap and, when it happens, you will know it.

My boyfriend lied about something to my face, and only admitted to it after I gave him proof he couldn’t deny. I don’t think I can trust him anymore. Should I end this relationship?

A loss of trust is serious, and you should make a decision based on whether you think he will do what it takes to rebuild it or not. If you don’t find a way to forgive him, this won’t work.

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First Published: 19 August, 2020 05:21 IST

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