Did I misread this guy's intentions?

Published: Apr 15, 2020, 04:54 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

He didn't discuss the possibility of a relationship so, after our fourth date, I simply asked him if he wanted to consider it

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

picI went on a few dates with a guy my friends introduced me to, because they thought we would be great together. We connected instantly and realised we had a lot in common. He didn't discuss the possibility of a relationship so, after our fourth date, I simply asked him if he wanted to consider it. I was surprised when he said he wasn't looking for anything. I haven't texted him since then, because I was embarrassed. I am also confused because I don't think I misread his intentions. If our friends set us up, why did they assume he wanted a relationship? Should I just ignore him?

It's okay to misread things, because people are complicated and not everyone is ready to get into a relationship without a certain level of comfort. Your friends obviously meant well. Being embarrassed is normal, but it shouldn't last very long because you are both adults and are aware of how easy it is to get mixed signals. This guy likes your company, and obviously doesn't mind spending time with you, so why not allow him to think about what you have said and wait for him to reach out? If he does, he will have an answer for you. If he doesn't, you won't have to worry about ignoring him. Either way, you have nothing to feel awkward about.

My boyfriend repeatedly asks me for phone sex when he goes away on business. He says it makes him feel more connected to me, but I am not comfortable with it. Should I do this just to make him happy?

If you are uncomfortable with something, you have no reason to do it. If your only reason for refusal is a fear of trying something new, you won't know how you feel about it until you do. This is something only you and your boyfriend can find a solution to, because it involves some amount of compromise on both sides.

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