Didn't tell him how I feel. Now he's engaged

Updated: 21 November, 2020 09:00 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

It will be difficult, of course, but you will learn to accept it knowing that you were honest with him. This is awful advice, but there really is nothing anyone can do under the circumstances. The two of you alone can remedy this

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr Love

I have been friends with a guy for over a decade. We are perfect together and have been as close as two people can me. Eventually, I fell for him, but never told him this because I didn't know how he would react. He got engaged to someone over the weekend, which was arranged for him by his parents. I am heartbroken and don't know how I will be able to accept seeing him marry someone else. What should I do?
The only option you have is to tell him how you feel as soon as possible and prepare yourself for the possibility that he may simply not reciprocate. If he had feelings for you, he has had as much time as you had, to declare them. His silence may imply that he doesn't see this relationship from the same prism that you do. If your openness changes his mind, there may be some hope. If he doesn't share the same sentiment, you may have to accept him as a friend. It will be difficult, of course, but you will learn to accept it knowing that you were honest with him. This is awful advice, but there really is nothing anyone can do under the circumstances. The two of you alone can remedy this.

My husband is very friendly with people, and one of his women friends sometimes sits on his lap at parties. He doesn't seem to mind at all, but I think it is very inappropriate for anyone to behave in this way. I mentioned it to him a few times and he always asks me to lighten up. Am I overreacting?
You are not overreacting, because no one can tell you how you should feel by someone's behaviour. If you think it is inappropriate, it is, and your husband should respect the fact that it makes you uncomfortable. If he isn't willing to address this, you can always take it up with the woman in question and tell her how her behaviour makes you feel.

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First Published: 21 November, 2020 08:40 IST

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