Do I tell my partner that I cheated?
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My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for over a year now. He moved to another city for work, and we decided to continue our relationship. I cheated on him after a few months though because I felt lonely and didn't think it could continue for much longer. That affair ended after a month and I have had second thoughts since. I think my boyfriend has stayed faithful to me all this time, which makes me feel very guilty. I want to tell him that I had an affair because I think it's only fair that he knows. This will break his heart though, so I don't know if I should simply withhold that information and try to fix our relationship instead. What should I do?
It's interesting how people who cheat on their partners always worry about breaking their hearts only after these incidents. You say you care, admit to infidelity, and are now considering a relationship built on lies because you say you don't want to hurt him. Isn't cheating on him a sign that this relationship wasn't working out? If you want to fix it, the only way is through openness and honesty. Your boyfriend deserves to know, especially because he has chosen to invest in this relationship in a way that you haven't. If you want to save this, the first step is to admit you made a mistake and give him the opportunity to evaluate things. Choosing to forgive you is his prerogative. Also, put yourself in his shoes and ask yourself whether you would like to know if he was being faithful. Respect is a two-way street.
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