Don't want girlfriend to meet her ex...

Updated: Feb 08, 2020, 07:47 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

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Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr LoveThis seems like a petty thing to be worried about, but my girlfriend's ex recently sent her a message on Facebook asking if they could meet. She wants to go, because she is intrigued about why he wants to chat. I don't want her to, because I don't know if he wants her to consider getting back with him. I know I am probably being paranoid, because she has no interest in him at all. At the same time, he can be persuasive. What should I do?
You have told her how you feel, and she has declared her lack of interest in him. Strong relationships are built on trust and allowing her to do what she wants to is a great way of showing how much you trust her. If you believe your relationship is weak enough to be demolished by a persuasive ex-boyfriend, maybe you should work on strengthening the bonds between you two instead of worrying about anything else.

My girlfriend recently moved to another city because she was transferred at work. It was a great opportunity and she didn't want to give it up because it makes a huge difference to her career. It has affected our relationship though, because she and I don't chat as much. She knows it is a problem but isn't doing anything to fix it. I don't want to lose her but am afraid this won't work out if things continue the way they are. She may simply find someone else, which will break my heart. How can we make this work?
If the two of you want this to work, you will simply have to do more to make it happen. Long distance relationships are always challenging and require a lot more effort. It doesn't mean they can't happen though. Why not talk about allocating specific period of time to chat whenever possible, or work on the possibility of meeting somewhere every other month?

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