'After all these years together, he thinks I'm boring'

Feb 13, 2018, 08:00 IST | Dr Love

I have been madly in love with the same boy since college. We have been together for a few years now, and he has recently started to tell me that he finds me boring

Dr Love: 'After all these years together, he thinks I'm boring'

Dr LoveI have been madly in love with the same boy since college. We have been together for a few years now, and he has recently started to tell me that he finds me boring. While I have had other men tell me that they wanted to date me, I have always been faithful and only been interested in this one guy for as long as I can remember. When I asked him why he finds me uninteresting suddenly after all this time, he tells me he has just outgrown me. I don’t understand what he means, because there were no problems until a few months ago. How can someone suddenly seem boring for no reason? How do I get him to break out of this phase? Is there anything I can do to change his mind? I don’t want to lose him. Please help.
A lot of people who have been together for a while suddenly experience what they refer to as boredom. This has more to do with allowing your relationship to become a matter of routine than you actually doing anything to warrant him calling you uninteresting. You aren’t boring; you are simply someone he has now begun to take for granted. If you feel like there’s nothing much left to talk about, and little left to know about the person you’re in a relationship with, things can seem uninteresting. It happens to a lot of people who have been together for as long as the two of you have. I suggest you try and take a holiday together if possible, and rediscover what drew you to each other in the first place. If he refuses to do that, for whatever reason, try and get him to talk about things he hasn’t spoken about, or tell him about how you feel, to get him to open up more.
He may simply be struggling with a way of expressing how he feels -- a more common problem than you may think.

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