'Do I have to buy her everything she asks for?'

Updated: Feb 05, 2018, 08:57 IST | Dr Love

Is it okay for me to give my girlfriend everything she asks for, even if I'm not always happy about doing this? I don't want her to think that I don't care, so I end up buying her anything she asks for

Dr. Love

Dr. LoveIs it okay for me to give my girlfriend everything she asks for, even if I'm not always happy about doing this? I don't want her to think that I don't care, so I end up buying her anything she asks for. I can't afford this stuff at times, and end up borrowing money from my friends.

You can't buy anyone's affection. If your girlfriend believes that your inability to get her what she wants is all that defines whether or not you care about her, there is something seriously wrong about what the two of you think a relationship is about. You are both adults. Try and behave like adults and recognise that there's more to being together than simply exchanging gifts.

I had a serious relationship with a guy for 5 years. 6 months after we broke up, I began dating someone else. My current boyfriend used to be caring and attentive at the start of our relationship, but now talks to me only when he wants my help or a favour. I have asked him about us, but he says he is confused. I eventually realised he was just having fun. Am I correct? Please help. I have been in pain for 5 months now.
- Nivedita K

It takes two people time to figure out what they each want from a relationship. If your boyfriend is confused, and you're not, it falls upon you to simply support him and be there until he figures out what he's looking for. If he calls only when he needs your help, you have the option of either responding, or telling him that you feel like he is taking you for granted. I suggest you tell him every time you think he is using you in some way though, if only to get him to understand his role in this a little better. As for being in pain, why don't you ease the pressure by simply waiting until he knows what he wants?

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