'Do I tell my bestie I hate her partner?'

Updated: Jan 10, 2019, 07:36 IST | Dr Love

I have had a problem with him for a long time, and have never mentioned it.

'Do I tell my bestie I hate her partner?'
Dr Love

Dr LoveShould I tell my best friend that I hate her boyfriend? I have had a problem with him for a long time, and have never mentioned it.
That depends upon why you hate him, whether or not you are looking out for her, and how open the two of you are with each other.

My boyfriend and I have been together for two and a half years, and he seems to think this will last forever. I don't have a problem being with him because he's great and we do have a good time together. At the same time, I am very clear that I don't want to spend the rest of my life with him because he's not the kind of ideal partner I have in mind. I have tried to get this message across, but always fail to explain because he seems like such an innocent person. I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I want him to understand that there is no long-term plan here, so he doesn't get his heart broken and hate me forever at some point. What do I do? How do I explain this to him?
There really is no way around it if you're sure about this being a relationship that will end at some point. If you don't want to break his heart right now, doing it at a later date will be inevitable. As for him hating you, the chances of that happening are higher if you choose to keep him in the dark because he clearly views this relationship differently from the way you do. I suggest you come clean, tell him why you feel the way you do, and ask him how he feels about your decision. If he chooses to end it now rather than later, to make it easier for him to cope and move on, you may have to give him that prerogative. You can't have your cake and eat it too, because this concerns someone else's life as well.

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