'He prefers to spend time with friends'

Updated: Feb 11, 2019, 07:25 IST | Dr Love

We recently met after almost 25 days, but he wasn't interested in waiting for long and wanted to get home as quickly as possible. He left after just two hours, despite my asking him to wait for just a half hour more

'He prefers to spend time with friends'

Dr LoveI have been in a relationship for 4 years. We live far from each other, so we don't meet as often as we would like to because of the time it takes to travel. We recently met after almost 25 days, but he wasn't interested in waiting for long and wanted to get home as quickly as possible. He left after just two hours, despite my asking him to wait for just a half hour more. I got irritated and we argued, after which we didn't speak for two days. On the third day, I made an effort to speak to him, but he called me selfish. He said his exams were on, which is why he couldn't spend much time with me. He behaves like this even when he doesn't have exams though. Later that same night, he texted to tell me he was going out with friends who live not far from where I do. He was with them for almost the whole day. He says he loves me a lot and can't live without me but calls me selfish when I ask for a little more time with him. I don't force him to meet me every day, so shouldn't he make an effort to spend more time with me? I feel as if he enjoys being with his friends more. It makes me upset because I feel as if I am the only one who wants us to spend time together.
- Akshata S
Your complaint is valid, especially if the two of you meet as rarely as you say you do. Your boyfriend's priorities may be different, but the two of you will have to be more open about your expectations in terms of time because, without it, your future together will obviously be affected. If he says he loves you and can't live with you, his actions will have to reflect his words and you will have to insist on him proving it. A relationship involves two people working together, not one person setting down rules.

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