'How do I convince her to spend a night with me?'

Apr 17, 2018, 07:04 IST | Dr Love

She says she isn't comfortable with it. Does this mean she doesn't trust me?

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr LoveHow can I convince my girlfriend to spend a night with me when my parents aren't at home? She says she isn't comfortable with it. Does this mean she doesn't trust me?
No, it means she isn't comfortable. When a woman says no, that's exactly what she means. It's the inability of so many men to grasp this simple idea that makes our country such a difficult place for women to live in. If you care about her, why can't you simply respect her decision?

This sounds like a trivial thing, but I have a problem with it anyway. My boyfriend always puts up photographs of himself with ex-girlfriends as his Facebook profile picture. He removes them when I ask him about it and puts up pictures of us, or just himself, but eventually puts up another ex-girlfriend after some days. I don't know if he does this to make me jealous or to brag to his friends that he has had relationships with so many women, but I find it insensitive and demeaning because he refuses to accept the fact that it upsets me. He says I am being childish, but I don't think I am. I am not jealous; I just find it ridiculous that he has to flaunt his exes in everyone's face like this when he is supposed to be with me. Am I the one who is wrong here?
You're not wrong because there probably isn't a very good reason for him to put up pictures of ex-girlfriends. Have you asked him though? He is well within his rights to do this, because they are people who have obviously mattered to him and it is his personal Facebook page after all. Why he does this is more important, and is what the two of you ought to discuss instead. If his reasons aren't valid, and he refuses to acknowledge that putting up the photographs upsets you, there's a problem because one of you isn't respecting the other's feelings enough.

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