'How do I tell her I want to take it to the next level?'

Updated: Jan 26, 2018, 09:40 IST | Dr Love

I want to take our relationship to the next level but can't bring myself to tell her what I want. Should I write her a letter?

Dr. Love

Dr. LoveI want to take our relationship to the next level but can't bring myself to tell her what I want. Should I write her a letter?
If you manage to be open about how you feel, that is, in a sense, a kind of evolution already. Work on open communication first.

My best friend has a crush on my girlfriend because he believes he has a lot more in common with her than I do. He may be right, but she has chosen to be with me, and this is causing some friction between me and him. He avoids meeting us when he knows she's with me, and doesn't chat with me as much as he used to before this relationship began. This saddens me, because this girl is being dragged into something for no fault of hers. At the same time, I don't want her to ruin my relationship with my best friend. I'm torn between the two of them. I am considering ending this relationship with her just to make things normal with my friend. I am also becoming increasingly resentful of him though, because no one would force a best friend to end something for such selfish reasons. I can't figure out what to do.
Your best friend is being selfish as well as childish. If this girl gets along with him as well as he believes she ought to, why is she with you? Why do you need to end this just to make him happy? Why do you feel the need to sacrifice this relationship with her, for no fault of her own, simply because your friend is behaving like a spoiled brat? I suggest you leave her out of this and have a chat with him. Tell him how you feel, point out that she isn't interested in him, and ask him to evaluate his friendship with you. Also, ask him to put himself in your shoes, because that should help him stop being so self-centred, if only for a few minutes.

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