'I like him but what will society say?'

Dec 25, 2018, 07:00 IST | Dr Love

He is 16 years older than I am, but we just connected instantly. Since that time, we have chatted constantly every day, and I have shared more about my life with him than with anyone else

'I like him but what will society say?'

Dr. LoveI met someone online a few months ago. He is 16 years older than I am, but we just connected instantly. Since that time, we have chatted constantly every day, and I have shared more about my life with him than with anyone else. He has also told me things about himself that he says no one else knows. He is still single, obviously. He lives in the same city I do, but we haven’t met because we want to get to know each other better before actually meeting on a date. I worry about the age difference, and what my family and friends will say when they find out, but I am convinced that he is my soul mate and I want to be with him. Am I wrong? I don’t want to end this just because society will judge me for being with a man so elder to me.
Let’s put aside what society, your family and friends will say for a minute. Let’s also put aside your feeling about him being your soulmate and concentrate, instead, on the fact that it takes time for two people to get to know each other better, and it is important that they do this face to face as much as possible. Getting to know someone in real life and then moving a conversation online is always a better idea, because the anonymity and distance offered by the Internet allows us to put up masks and pretend to be people we are not. I am not saying this gentleman is not who he says he is, but I do think you’re basing too much on too little. Chatting every day is all very well, but it is only by spending time with someone in the real world that you can gauge more accurately if you get along. Don’t push yourself into a situation you don’t have to be in. Take it one step at a time, insist on meeting, go out a few more times and then evaluate how you feel.

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