'I want to take my time with him, but what if he leaves?'

Updated: Feb 09, 2018, 08:56 IST | Dr Love | Mumbai

Should I date someone only after going out with him a few times, if he asks me to consider it? I would like to take my time, but I'm afraid he will go out with someone else if I take too long

Dr. Love

Should I date someone only after going out with him a few times, if he asks me to consider it? I would like to take my time, but I'm afraid he will go out with someone else if I take too long.
How are you being arm-twisted into a relationship? If you don't want to date him, don't. Take as much time as you need. And if he goes out with someone else, he wasn't interested to begin with.

How do two people who are in love go from being in a simple relationship to deciding that they want to spend the rest of their lives together? My boyfriend and I have been together for over six years, but neither of us has ever mentioned the possibility of taking this to the next level and getting engaged. We have never even spoken of our future plans and whether it involves us marrying. I don't know if it's because he takes this for granted or because he simply doesn't have a clue, but I don't feel like talking about it either, so we will simply drift like this for another year without knowing where this is headed. I'd like to know though, so should I ask him? What if the question offends him and changes the way things are between us?
There is something contradictory about your situation. On the one hand, you say you don't want to have a conversation about your future. On the other, you say you would like to know if there is one and what form it may take. If you have been with this man for six years, and find it hard to ask him a question about what he believes the future holds for you both, don't you find that strange? Why do you assume your perfectly reasonable question would offend him, after all the time the two of you have spent together? I can't answer any of your questions. He is the only one who can, so I suggest you ask him.

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