'My friend doesn't share his problems with me'

Jun 08, 2018, 06:42 IST | Dr Love

He is miserable all the time and I want to help, but he doesn't even want to tell me what's bothering him. How do I get him to talk?

'My friend doesn't share his problems with me'
Illustrations/Ravi Jadhav

Dr LoveMy friend has a problem with his girlfriend and doesn't want to talk about it. He is miserable all the time and I want to help, but he doesn't even want to tell me what's bothering him. How do I get him to talk?
If he's a friend and the two of you haven't figured out how to be open about personal things, that's something you need to work on. Are you as open about things happening in your life as you expect him to be? If he doesn't want to talk about something, shouldn't you respect that decision, too, until he's ready?

I have been struggling to find out if the guy I have been dating for three months now is interested in a relationship. I sometimes get the feeling he is, because he keeps asking me out again. At the same time, I also get the sense that he is dating other women as if to evaluate them and then decide who he wants to have a relationship with. I haven't asked him directly if this is what his intention is, but I think I should, just to stop this endless round of dating. Am I being presumptuous or impatient? I don't want to keep dating him only to find out a month from now that he has decided to be with someone else. What do I do?
You haven't mentioned whether or not you like the guy, which I would assume would be the most important thing. If you like him, and want to get into a relationship with him, you really should come right out and ask, by all means. Don't turn this into a waiting game for no apparent reason. If he's interested, find out why he isn't being upfront about it. If he's dating other people and can't make up his mind, ask him to call you when he figures things out. Don't worry about being presumptuous or impatient; if he can't get to the point, you should.

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