'My wife never enjoys having sex with me'

Feb 14, 2018, 07:56 IST | Dr Love

My wife hates having sex with me. She does it only to make me happy and never enjoys it. I have tried everything to make it pleasant for her, but she says she just hates the idea

My wife hates having sex with me. She does it only to make me happy and never enjoys it. I have tried everything to make it pleasant for her, but she says she just hates the idea. I don't know if I'm doing something wrong or if she just hates the idea of sex in general. I asked her if she had a problem with it in the past but she doesn't talk about it. I don't know what to do. This is really beginning to affect our relationship and I don't feel like forcing her because that doesn't make me happy either. I have asked her to consider meeting a therapist and she says she will do it only if I go with her. Is this a good idea?
Of course it is. If she recognises that a problem exists, and that physical intimacy is an integral part of any relationship, why do you think accompanying her to speak to a therapist will be a bad idea? Are you afraid it may be you who is doing something wrong? There may be memories associated with sex that trigger certain emotions in her, or maybe you're just awful in bed. Either way, it's always a great idea to simply open up about these things. And if being more communicative is easier with the help of a professional, why should you shy away from it?

I would like to tell a boy in my building that I find him interesting, but I'm afraid he may think I want to have a relationship with him. How do I prevent him from not getting the wrong idea?
Do you want to get to know him a little better or are you simply interested in being a friend in a platonic manner? I suppose being crystal clear about your intentions should help. Ask him out, have a frank conversation and find out if he's as interesting as you think he is to begin with.

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