His parents have 'caste' a pall on our future'

Updated: Dec 07, 2016, 15:35 IST | Dr Love

I had an affair with a guy for the past year, after which we decided to marry. My boyfriend discussed us with his family, but they refused to accept me saying I belonged to a lower caste...

I had an affair with a guy for the past year, after which we decided to marry. My boyfriend discussed us with his family, but they refused to accept me saying I belonged to a lower caste. My family has no problem accepting my boyfriend, but he doesn't want to go against his family. He has broken all contact with me and asked me to move on. I can't live without him. What do I do?
— Urmila W
Discrimination on the basis of caste is a punishable offence. It is also a crime to stop two adults from marrying. Your boyfriend, unfortunately, wants to take the easy way out, and there's nothing you can do about that. You need to ask yourself though, if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who doesn't care about you enough to take a stand at this stage of your relationship. That should make it easier for you to put him behind you too and move on.
Why marry a coward? As for not being able to live without him, you will find that life will go on. All you have to deal with is grief, which is inevitable at the end of every relationship. You will be just fine.

My girlfriend and I fight about money constantly. She refuses to split the bill at restaurants, saying it's my responsibility, which I think is ridiculous. What happened to equal rights?
A lot of people equate money with power, and this affects relationships too. I can't figure out why your girlfriend has a problem splitting the bill, unless she has a good reason that involves the state of her personal finances. The thing to do is discuss this openly, because issues related to money often end up wreaking havoc on relationships a few years down the line. If you have a problem with her behaviour, tell her about it or, at the very least, ask her for a rational explanation.

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