'Do you hate cuddling enough to let her go?'
My girlfriend doesn't like it when we don't cuddle after sex. She says it means I'm using her, which is ridiculous...
My girlfriend doesn't like it when we don't cuddle after sex. She says it means I'm using her, which is ridiculous. I just don't like the idea of holding her for a while, which is normal for a lot of men. She says I'm not being serious about the relationship. How do I convince her? I don't want her to end this for something so trivial.
It is trivial, but it's also important for her, so I suggest you suck it up and hold her. If she's important to you, cuddling shouldn't be as painful as you make it out to be. It's certainly less painful than sitting down to email a columnist with a query like this.
We have been married for 12 years now and have a 7-year-old daughter. A month ago, my wife told me that she had an affair with someone a year ago. They were physically intimate for a while until the man abandoned her and ran away. She wants me to forgive her. I am surprised that something like this happened and I was completely clueless about it. Even if I forgive her, keeping our daughter in mind, how will I ever be able to forget that she cheated on me? I am very confused.
— V Q
This is obviously going to be difficult for you to deal with. Infidelity is not something that can be swept under the rug in a hurry, so I understand how this can shake the foundations of your relationship. I suppose your wife's confession won't count for much either, because you obviously feel betrayed. What you choose to do next depends entirely on how strongly you want to save this marriage though. If you believe a life without her is bearable, it may be easy for you to end this and move on. I believe the smartest thing to do would be to consider marriage counselling. If you and your wife can both speak to a therapist, there may be a way for you both to put this behind you and get on with your lives.
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