'Saas-bahu tension is ruining my marriage'

Updated: Jan 03, 2017, 10:27 IST | Dr Love |

My mother-in-law is always rude to me, no matter what I do or say. My husband refuses to intervene, saying it’s something I need to deal with...

My mother-in-law is always rude to me, no matter what I do or say. My husband refuses to intervene, saying it’s something I need to deal with. I don’t know what to do. I am considering ending my marriage just to avoid dealing with this.
If her behaviour really is driving you to consider such a desperate solution, why don’t you inform your husband and mother-in-law about this decision and compel them to try and save the situation? This is still a form of domestic abuse.

You are entitled to peace of mind in your husband’s home, because it is also your own. Your mother-in-law needs to understand that we aren’t living in 1920s anymore.

I am 29 years old and my husband is 30. Ours was a love marriage after an 8-year relationship. We married against our parents’ wishes, although my in-laws eventually came around. I recently found out that my husband was having an affair while I was pregnant. I am devastated and feel like leaving him. I cannot resume my job because our baby is just 6 months old, nor I can go back to my parents. When I am with him, I am reminded of his cheating. I am unable to forget. What should I do? — R Sharma
This is difficult for me to respond to, because dealing with infidelity is always hard. Your situation limits your options too, so I understand how frustrating this must be. There is no solution, because a relationship is built on trust and you have obviously lost your trust in him. Think about what he used to mean to you at some point though, and see if you can find it in yourself to talk to him about it. Try and figure out why he did what he did. Also, think about practicalities. If you can’t go back to your family, think about possibilities that enable you and your child to live independently, if you have to. Explore all options before deciding upon your next course of action.

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