'Isn't he being sexist if he never lets me pay?'

Feb 20, 2017, 06:00 IST | Dr Love

My boyfriend always insists on paying when we eat out. Isn't this sexist?

My boyfriend always insists on paying when we eat out. Isn't this sexist?

That depends on what his reason is. Ask him. And, if you have a problem with this, simply insist on splitting the bill or refuse to eat out the next time.

I was promoted at work soon after marriage, which meant my working hours increased dramatically. This wasn't a problem at first, because it meant a higher salary as well, but it has been two years since that promotion and I have only been working harder. We have a bigger house, a better car, but my wife and I barely speak to each other anymore. This is sad because we used to spend as much time together as we could. We still love each other a lot, but I'm afraid this relationship will break down at some point because we hardly ever do anything anymore. Is there a solution to this?

Yes, and it's a rather simple one too. Corporate India loves to make people forget about their lives and confuse their careers with what living is all about. Modern Japan does the same thing. If you look at your job as just a part of your life that needs to be over and done with so you can focus on what's really important (hint: your family), it may change the way you approach your relationships outside the office. You don't want to wake up one morning on the wrong side of 50 and realise that most of your life has slipped by while you were looking at Powerpoint presentations in a board room. Moderation is pretty much the norm here. A career may be important, but you need to draw the line somewhere. If your wife is important, she needs to know that. If you can't make time for her, what or whom are you working for anyway? If the two of you have a child at some point, do you intend to be an absentee father?

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