She has just one answer to everything: No

Updated: 01 February, 2018 09:03 IST | Dr Love | Mumbai

How can I ask my girlfriend to do something for me when she treats every request as a command and simply refuses?

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How can I ask my girlfriend to do something for me when she treats every request as a command and simply refuses?
I'm not sure I understand what you mean. I'd work on your tone though, because how you ask someone something matters.

My father likes the guy I used to date, and thinks he was perfect for me. He doesn't know why we split up, because I didn't tell him about the numerous fights, the way he prevented me from doing things I liked, the way he used to stop me from wearing things I wanted to, or the way he reacted whenever I said anything negative about his behaviour. Now, I have been dating a nice guy for three months, and my father has barely said a word to him during this time. He wants me to end this and go back to my ex-boyfriend. I can always tell him the truth about that relationship, but I want him to have some trust in me and have faith in my ability to know what is best for me. I want him to support me no matter what I choose to do. Is this the right thing?
Your belief is commendable because, in an ideal world, our parents would support us no matter what we did. Our parents are also human though, and sometimes tend to project their own prejudices and insecurities upon us, not because they hate us, but because they don't know any better. Your father probably supports you anyway, and probably believes in your ability to know what's right for you too. To assume he will also know your boyfriends as well as you do is being presumptuous though, because he simply won't have the same points of view about them as you do. If you want him to understand, you really should just speak to him and explain your decisions. It's unfair to expect him to support something when you have simultaneously denied him access to the complete picture.

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First Published: 01 February, 2018 06:08 IST

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