'Should I discuss my past with my boyfriend?'

Mar 15, 2018, 06:24 IST | Dr Love

Is it okay for me to not tell my boyfriend about a few relationships I have had in the past? It's not cheating, but it feels as if I'm lying to him, which makes me uncomfortable

Illustration/Ravi Jadhav
Illustration/Ravi Jadhav

Is it okay for me to not tell my boyfriend about a few relationships I have had in the past? It's not cheating, but it feels as if I'm lying to him, which makes me uncomfortable. I just don't know if I'm ready to talk about a few painful experiences at the moment.
Your past is yours alone to discuss. You're not cheating on him, and if you're not comfortable talking about something, you should take your time until you get to a stage when you can.

This isn't really a problem, but I was thinking about spending the next year as a single man. I had a lot of casual relationships this year, which left me feeling empty inside, and I thought it made sense to give this whole relationship thing a break and just think about what I wanted out of life before committing to something serious, maybe a year or so later. The difficult thing is actually doing it. It's easy for me to sit back and congratulate myself for coming up with a sensible idea, but actually staying away from the dating scene while my friends are with all kinds if interesting people is a whole other thing. I don't want to be distracted, but it's hard when I have an active social life and my friends are always with some girls. How do I stick to this? I really want to, but it's hard.
You seem to have the same problem that people who want to quit smoking do. They know it makes sense to quit, and would like to give their lungs a rest, but can't seem to resist if there's someone around them lighting up. I don't know how I can help, to be honest, because this is just about will power and nothing else. If you want some time off as a single person, I don't see how anyone can force you into a relationship. Also, in case you hadn't noticed yet, most things in life are hard.

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