Feel guilty about dumping my ex

Published: Oct 19, 2019, 05:12 IST | DR Love |

He was very apologetic, told me he was suffering from depression, and begged me to give him another chance

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI dated a guy for two years, after which he proposed marriage and I accepted. He changed almost immediately after I became his fiancé and started to become more controlling and less loving. After a few months of trying to tolerate him, I realised I couldn't cope and decided to break off the engagement. He was very apologetic, told me he was suffering from depression, and begged me to give him another chance. I didn't though, because I thought I had given him enough chances and saw no hope of him changing for the better. This was a year ago, and I sometimes wonder if I made the right decision because I could have asked him to seek treatment and been more supportive. How do I make peace with what I did?

You have no choice but to make peace with it, because it was a decision made for very good reasons at the time. Yes, things could have been different, and he could have sought help, or you could have been more supportive, but beating yourself up for what you or he could have done differently doesn't serve any purpose. You can think about it a year later, but there's not much you can do other than accept your reasons for making a considered decision.

I think I really like a girl at my office, but don't know if this is just a silly infatuation because I know very little about her. I'm not sure how to proceed with this.

Why can't you find a way of getting to know her better before evaluating whether or not this is an infatuation? There isn't any way of finding out more unless you initiate some sort of conversation and asking her out for a cup of coffee could be a good way to start. Maybe she isn't single. Maybe she is single, but not interested. Either way, you won't know unless you reach out.

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