Feel like a misfit for not being married...

Updated: 30 October, 2020 06:29 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

Sometimes, however, when it's a festival or a special occasion, I feel as if I should have given marriage a chance

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

picI am a 36-year old unmarried woman. I rejected two marriage proposals in my late twenties because I didn't think I had anything in common with those men, and I didn't regret any of my decisions back then. Sometimes, however, when it's a festival or a special occasion, I feel as if I should have given marriage a chance. I know I can't change that, but it makes me feel like a misfit. How can I get over this feeling?

Each of us has the right to make choices that define who we are and how we want to live our lives. You made those decisions based on what you believed at the time, so beating yourself up now doesn't help in any way. As for the feeling of being a misfit, what makes you think single people lead less fulfilling lives just because they don't have lifelong partners? You are only 36, which means you have a long life ahead of you, full of possibility. You can always choose to be with someone if you want to, with or without the need for marriage. You can interact with people in other ways, by becoming part of a group and working for a cause that you believe in. You can enjoy friendships with people if you choose to let them in. And, if you believe you are depressed, you are not alone. Speak to family members, trusted friends, or even a professional if things start to wear you down.

One of my closest friends tends to ask me personal questions about my body that I am not comfortable with. I don't know if this means he has feelings for me. How do I find out what his intentions are?

If someone has feelings for you, the normal thing to do is tell you how they feel, as opposed to asking questions that make you uncomfortable. Tell him what you find inappropriate and ask what his intentions are. That's what close friends are supposed to be able to do.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com

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First Published: 30 October, 2020 06:20 IST

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