As the city braces for a whirlwind visit by the Canadian Prime Minister, our favourite sutradhars, Sir PM and Lady Flora have their own itinerary lined up for the "hottie"
Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau with his family. File pic
"Of all the times, Pheroze, this was the one time when you never gave me any prior notice!" exclaimed Lady Flora. She hadn't looked this upset since he broke the news of the Metro Phase III, Sir PM recollected, as he slowed in his stride on one of their languid night walks around SoBo. "He'll be all around town, and my maintenance team will have zero time to give me a makeover; what if he glances at me?"
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"Err…but I thought Obama was your all-time favourite when it came to visiting heads of state and international celebrities," clarified Sir PM, trying hard to save face, and remind her of the excitement that ensued when she spotted the former US President's cavalcade drive past her, and she did a gentle wave from her vantage point. But today Lady Flora wasn't buying any of this. "Since when did Trudoor, Trudy…whatever these accented French-type surnames sound like…become your new favourite? enquired Sir PM, utterly perplexed at the shifted allegiance.
"Oh, Pheroze…Obama is passé. Trudeau is the new cool. Haven't you seen how he has got the world all weak-kneed with his cute smile, suave charm and hot appeal? Even Ivanka Trump was spotted checking him out when he was in the US," she rambled on. "Hot!" Sir PM's eyes widened, "You find him hot? Is that all there is to him? What about his views on policy, world peace and the environment?" the seasoned civic administrator probed. "I leave all that policy-spolicy ideas for you senior babus to track; I am excited that a charming young world leader is visiting the city. Say, Pheroze, why not plan an itinerary for him? And never mind if the Canadian consulate plays spoilsport, and doesn't accept it. We must still try our best."
Before Sir PM could veto the idea, Lady Flora pulled out names with amusing rapidity. "So, he must be taken to the Gateway — after all, it's where so much of Bombay's history can be narrated to him, right, Pheroze? He merely nodded. She was on a roll. "And then, we do a quick heritage walk around Colaba, Fort and Kala Ghoda…and ahem, the fountains — Wellington, Flora, Mulji Jetha. Have I missed out any areas, Pheroze? "No, Lady Flora," he agreed, realising it was in his best interest to play along considering he hadn't informed her of the visit. "Also, I've heard that he is a huge supporter of communal harmony, so we should include places of worship like St Thomas Cathedral, Banganga Tank, Keneseth Eliyahoo Synagogue."
By now, Sir PM was beginning to wonder of how such an itinerary could be fit into the leader's schedule that was already packed with business seminars and Bollywood parties, so he interjected, "Lady Flora, I suspect this might all be a bit too much for him to handle. It's a very short visit, possibly for less than 24 hours…" But she seemed unfazed. "I think we should take him to French Bridge as well; after all it's the only connect we can boast of that's remotely close to his roots. Pheroze, please check with your friends in the heritage department at BMC if they can dig up some fascinating trivia on the origins of the bridge's name. You will, won't you?" He had no choice, really.
Soon enough, it was time for daybreak. The duo said their goodbyes, not before Lady Flora threw in a parting shot — "Say, Pheroze, with your clout in the area, could you manage to get Trudeau take a detour to that selfie point opposite Victoria Terminus? I'd sure like one with him."
mid-day's Features Editor Fiona Fernandez relishes the city's sights, sounds, smells and stones...wherever the ink and the inclination takes her. She tweets @bombayana. Send your feedback to mailbag@mid-day.com
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