For 2 years, we have only been arguing

Updated: Apr 16, 2019, 21:02 IST | Dr Love | Mumbai

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Dr LoveI have been dating this girl for two years, and it doesn't seem to be working out. We argue all the time, don't really enjoy hanging out with each other, and don't even get along with each other's friends. I have spoken to her about ending this, because it's obvious we are not happy together, but she has a different idea about this for some reason. She constantly thinks we can work it out, and wants us to try harder, even though she doesn't really put in much of an effort herself. I sometimes get the feeling she does this only because she doesn't want to be single, rather than genuinely wanting me in her life. If she won't let me go, but doesn't do anything to save our relationship, how does she expect me to carry on this charade any longer?
It does sound as if she isn't sure, which isn't a good sign. You're right about the relationship not surviving without her trying hard enough, but what you choose to do really depends upon how you feel about her. If she isn't pulling her weight, and you don't feel connected to her in any way, what exactly do you hope to accomplish by continuing to stay in this relationship? Do you have any genuine reason, apart from her simply asking you to stay? Your choice of the word 'charade' really does sum this up.

Some of my friends keep asking me to dump my girlfriend because they think she is arrogant. She is just misunderstood, so I don't want to. How do I convince them to see her the way I do? I have repeatedly tried to get them to see where I am coming from, but they don't get it at all.
Maybe you don't have to convince them. Your relationships with friends are different from the one with your girlfriend and can be mutually exclusive. If they don't understand her, maybe the problem isn't yours. They don't have to meet each other.

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