Found out ex lied about everything!

Published: Dec 24, 2019, 05:13 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I keep trying to understand why he lied so much, and why he didn't feel comfortable enough to be honest with me

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI broke up with my boyfriend a month ago and found out a few things about him only after we split up. For example, he told me he had no close family members, although I now know his parents lived in the same city. He lied about his financial situation, pretending to be a lot better off than he actually was. I am angry with myself for being so trusting. I keep trying to understand why he lied so much, and why he didn't feel comfortable enough to be honest with me. How do I deal with this?

Why are you blaming yourself for something you had no control over, when it is your ex-boyfriend who did everything wrong? He lied, and that relationship is now over. Be happy that you dodged a bullet, forget about him forever, and move on. Being angry with yourself doesn't solve anything. You learned something, which is all that matters in the long run.

My girlfriend and I have been together for three years and intend to marry next year. The problem is her mother, who will obviously become my mother-in-law. She isn't a very nice person, and always says things that are offensive about people who she thinks are different from her. She says nasty things about people with different religious beliefs, for instance. I am worried because I don't want to say anything to offend her. At the same time, I think not confronting her is wrong because someone needs to call this behaviour out. Should I tell my girlfriend how I feel?

You should speak to her openly, because the future of your relationship depends upon how honest you can both be with each other. You are going to be with her, not her mother. Nothing should get in the way of calling someone out for acts of racism or bigotry.

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