Girl I really like has friend-zoned me

Published: Jan 16, 2020, 05:12 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I have had feelings for her but have never been able to tell her how I feel because she thinks of me as a brother

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI think I am in the friend-zone with a girl I really like. We have known each other quite well for a long time and talk about a lot of personal stuff. I have had feelings for her but have never been able to tell her how I feel because she thinks of me as a brother. She tells me about her crushes, and who she wants to be with, which means she has no romantic feelings for me and doesn't reciprocate how I feel. What can I do to make her see me in a different light?

If the two of you are as comfortable with each other, there really isn't anything preventing you from having this conversation with her soon. She may not share your feelings, of course, but that shouldn't stop you from being honest about how you feel. At the very least, it may simply give her a different perspective and get her to see you differently. If she understands that she doesn't have to reciprocate, because you want your friendship to stay intact, the two of you should be able to deal with this without any awkwardness.

My ex-girlfriend and I broke up after being together for over five years, and I don't think I am ever going to get over her. I know things will get easier with time, but I don't know if I can cope because I was so attached to her. I want to speak to her but can't because we mutually agreed to break off all contact. I think speaking to her will help, but she won't even take my calls. How do I get over this?

If she isn't responding, it's obvious that she has moved on. You may feel as if this will never get easy, but it's surprising how the human mind can adapt to an absence with time. You have tried to reach out, but rejecting your messages is her prerogative. I suggest you accept that and recognise that this feeling of helplessness won't last.

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