Girlfriend once had threesome with ex...

Updated: 03 September, 2020 06:03 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

We are still together, but I continue to have trust issues with her because I feel as if I don't really know her.

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

I found out that my girlfriend once had a threesome with her ex-boyfriend. I didn't know this when we first started dating, so it came as a shock. We are still together, but I continue to have trust issues with her because I feel as if I don't really know her. Can I ever really trust her? Is there more that she is not telling me? How do I deal with this?

Are you upset because she was finally comfortable enough with you to tell you that this happened? Did you expect her to be open and honest about everything the minute the two of you got together? Do you realise that a person's history is always personal, and that neither of you are under any obligation to share that personal history with anyone else unless you want to? You weren't part of this story, so think about why it bothers you too. It's obvious that she trusts you enough to share this with you. You can respond by trusting her in turn or doubting her. Why assume she has skeletons in her closet? Also, even if she does have them, do they affect or involve you? Without trust, this relationship cannot evolve, so I suggest you keep that in mind and think about how badly you want her in your life.

My ex-boyfriend recently messaged me out of the blue asking me on a date. He says he has changed and wants me to consider giving him another chance. Is this a bad idea? Do people really change? We dated over seven years ago, so I don't know what to do.

People can, and do change, but it is up to you to evaluate that and decide on a second chance. The two of you alone know why your relationship ended. You alone know where you stand today, after all these years, and what you are currently looking for. You don't have to meet him or get into a relationship until you are comfortable with the idea.

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First Published: 03 September, 2020 06:02 IST

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