Guy I am seeing comes on too strong

Published: Oct 09, 2019, 05:14 IST | DR Love |

He wanted us to consider a relationship almost immediately, which I was not comfortable with because I wanted to get to know him better first

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI can't understand what this guy I have been dating for a few months wants from me. We met on Tinder, and he seemed like a good guy. After the second date, however, he just started coming on a little too strong. He wanted us to consider a relationship almost immediately, which I was not comfortable with because I wanted to get to know him better first. I don't know if he is genuine with me, or simply says the right things to get me to go out with him. I don't mind seeing him, but it starts to annoy me after a while. I am confused about this because I like him, but can't seem to decide on whether I want to get into a relationship yet.

Your inability to understand him is reason enough to not get into a relationship until you are ready. If he is genuine, he will give you the time and space you need to evaluate this and make a more informed decision. If he is simply being manipulative, he won't have the patience and any veneer will crack soon enough. You have to respect yourself and your decision, irrespective of any pressure from anyone. If you're not comfortable with him yet, you are under no obligation to do anything you don't want to. The sooner he understands that, the better it will be for you both.

I dated someone for a few months and didn't tell my best friend about it. I wasn't planning on keeping it a secret, but I knew she would disapprove, which is why I didn't say anything. She now thinks I keep stuff from her all the time, and our relationship is starting to suffer. What can I do to get her back?

She will come around, of course. Tell her your reasons, allow her to deal with her anger and sense of betrayal, and spend as much time with her as possible until she recognises and accepts why you did what you did.

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