Guy I was dating hasn't called after we had sex

Updated: 17 November, 2018 10:18 IST | Dr Love | Mumbai

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Dr. LoveI met a guy at a party and we hit it off. We chatted a lot, exchanged numbers and went on a few dates, after which we went back to his place and had sex. It has been three weeks since then and he hasn't called or even sent me a message to ask how I am. I don't know what to think, because I assumed we were on our way towards a relationship. We had a lot in common and spoke a lot about our past, so I assumed this was going somewhere. I don't feel used, because the sex was consensual, but I do feel a bit cheated because it seems as if he simply wanted to sleep with me and then get rid of me. Should I message him instead?
You should reach out to him, by all means, if only to find out why your signals were so mixed. He may have a genuine reason for not being in touch and, even if he doesn't, it's possible that you both had different ideas about what having sex meant or was supposed to lead to. It was consensual, as you say, so this has probably more to do with poor communication than anything else. Have a frank conversation with him though, because that will help eliminate conjecture.

My girlfriend wants us to spend more time talking about our feelings, but I don't know what she means because I talk about my feelings all the time. I don't know what else she wants me to share.
Why don't you simply ask her what she means? It's obvious that you both have different ideas about this, and discussing it is part of the process of figuring it out. A relationship between two people takes time to mature simply because the process of sharing is so different. It's normal to find a discrepancy between how each of you views this exchange of feelings, so don't let this bother you too much.

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First Published: 17 November, 2018 06:04 IST


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