Have a boyfriend, but drawn to ex

Published: Oct 14, 2019, 05:08 IST | DR Love |

My ex has a girlfriend, too, but I found that out only through our common friends because he didn't mention it to me

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI dated a guy for a month when I was in my Std IX. We just met once but broke up because I cheated on him and then lost all contact. Six years later, I got his number, contacted him and apologised. I explained how childish I had been because I had no sense of what a relationship meant. I told him I had no intention of hurting him. To be honest, I loved him. He accepted my apology and we now chat often. The problem here is I am physically attracted to my ex-boyfriend even though I have been with someone for five years now. My ex has a girlfriend, too, but I found that out only through our common friends because he didn't mention it to me. We met once casually as friends and he insisted on meeting again. Whenever we make plans to meet now, he flirts with me and I kind of like it. Even though I am in a relationship, I don't know why I keep having intimate thoughts about my ex. I feel like talking to him or meeting him. I keep thinking about him. I am always the one to message him first. I don't want to feel this way because I know it will ruin my current relationship. I don't want to repeat the same mistake. Please help.— Akshata S

I'm not sure how I can help, given that you already realise why this is a problem. You claim to be in love with someone whom you met just once, when you were in Std IX. You think about him often, despite never actually having been in a serious relationship with him. If you have been with someone for five years and want to protect that, I suggest you evaluate the pros and cons of what you will give up by ending it for something else. The fact that your ex hasn't been honest with you about having a girlfriend should help you make a decision that is right for you.

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