Have girlfriend but like another girl, too

Updated: 15 August, 2020 07:08 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

Why not get to know her better first? There is no harm in meeting for coffee and trying to find out if she is interested before simply opening up.

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI am a 28-year old guy and have been in a long-distance relationship with my 26-year old girlfriend for three years now. We have been together since college and have been in love for a long time. We have been planning our future for some time, and I will eventually move back to the same city we both grew up in. The problem is, I am beginning to have doubts about this because I have recently begun to have strong feelings for someone else. She lives in my city and we have met a few times. She doesn't know about my girlfriend and I don't know what to do.
Being honest with both women is a start, because you owe it to your girlfriend. Long-distance relationships are always hard because they demand more from both people. If you have doubts, and can't examine them yourself, speak to a trusted friend or family member. Ask yourself if these feelings have anything to do with how you actually feel about this new person, or if they are influenced by the absence of your girlfriend. It's normal to look for physical intimacy after a while, but think about why you and your girlfriend chose to be together, and consider the possibility of her not being in your life before making any move. Your girlfriend may have her own share of doubts and second thoughts, so airing these in the open may be a good idea for you both. Talk about why you feel this way, what you can do to change aspects of your relationship despite the distance, and how badly the two of you want this to work. Don't take the easy way out.

I'm not sure what to do about feelings I have for a colleague. We chat sometimes, so should I risk telling her?
Why not get to know her better first? There is no harm in meeting for coffee and trying to find out if she is interested before simply opening up.

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First Published: 15 August, 2020 06:38 IST


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