Have had a crush on a colleague for long

Updated: Jan 21, 2020, 08:00 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

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Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI had a crush on a colleague of mine for quite a while but didn’t know how to ask her out. We became good friends over time, and she used to share everything with me. We bonded very well, but I didn’t say anything to her about how I felt. One day, my best friend spoke to her on my behalf and told her everything. She didn’t reciprocate. I think about her all the time, even though she is not interested in me. She is 3 years older than me, and recently broke up with her boyfriend. I want her in my life, and she is single now. I don’t want to miss this chance. What should I do?
— Shashank
I’m not sure if there is anything you can do, given that she is aware of how you feel and has made her own feelings about the matter quite clear. If she is single and hasn’t reached out to you despite knowing of your feelings for her, it’s obvious that she simply doesn’t think of you as someone she can be with. You can speak to her again, if you like, and if you believe that being direct may have an impact as opposed to having someone speak on your behalf. If that doesn’t change anything, you have no choice but to accept her decision. You may have to get used to the idea of just being friends.

My boyfriend has been making snide remarks that seem to imply I am not as hot as he once thought I was. Does this mean he is thinking of breaking up with me?
Your self-esteem is not tied to how your boyfriend looks at you. The only person you need validation from is yourself. If you think he is breaking up with you, I suggest you ask him directly. Also point out that commenting on whether you are hot or not is disrespectful. If he has a problem, ask him to come right out and say discuss it with you.

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