He deliberately tries to make me jealous

Updated: 07 April, 2020 07:46 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I'm not sure what you are basing those assumptions on, because that would require a lot of time and effort on your boyfriend's part

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI am a 28-year old girl and have been dating a 29-year old guy for a year now. We were in college together and have known each other for a long time. I think we have a good relationship, except for the fact that he insists on chatting with another girl who was also in our class. He sends her messages all the time, they share jokes, and I feel excluded. I thought this was just jealousy at first, but then realised I am insecure because he does this on purpose to make me feel that way. I don't think he has feelings for her but stays in touch just because he wants to make sure I value him. How do I get him to stop communicating with her?
I'm not sure what you are basing those assumptions on, because that would require a lot of time and effort on your boyfriend's part. If he is in touch with this person all the time, is it possible that he genuinely enjoys communicating with her? If you are sure he has no feelings for her, is there any other reason why you think he would pretend to be friends with her for years? Jealousy is normal, but it is important to recognise the kind of relationship a person can have with a friend and a girlfriend. If he had feelings for her, is there any reason why he wouldn't act on them and continue to be with you instead? I suggest you talk to him about why you feel this way and give him a chance to explain first.

How does one know is someone is interested in them? I think someone at my office is attracted to me, but I can't be sure.
There are a million ways of sending someone this kind of message, from subtle hints to stares, to gestures that give those feelings away. Nothing prevents from you simply asking this person out, of course, because that may be the best way to find out.

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First Published: 07 April, 2020 07:35 IST

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