He doesn't give me the support I need

Updated: Jul 14, 2020, 07:31 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I am worried that our relationship won't last because of how he is failing to give me the support I need. What can I do about this?

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI have been struggling with a few mental issues, specifically related to depression. There have been many reasons for this, most of which have to do with my family and the health of a parent. My partner and I have been together for two years, but he doesn't seem to understand my problems or what I need in order to be able to cope. He isn't a bad person, and wants to help, but can't seem to understand things. I am worried that our relationship won't last because of how he is failing to give me the support I need. What can I do about this?
Not blaming your partner is a sensible thing to do because it really isn't easy for anyone to figure out what a person is going through, especially with something as difficult as depression. There are innumerable factors at play here, and what matters is that your partner cares and wants to help. The only thing he doesn't have are the means to help you effectively. You need to speak to a professional, not just about managing your depression better, but to get a sense of how you can involve your partner in this fight against what is a disease. If he chooses to speak to a therapist too, he will be better equipped to help in more meaningful ways as well. All that matters is the two of you wanting this to work.

Someone I have been friends with for a long time treats me as someone he can have sex with whenever he wants. I started this, because I was okay with just sleeping with him, but it sometimes makes me feel used and I don't know if I am comfortable with how this has evolved. How do I change the dynamic?
You don't have to do anything you don't want to, because sex should always be consensual. If this is a friend, and there is mutual respect, he should have no problem with this decision.

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