He doesn't seem to want sex with me

Updated: Jul 11, 2019, 07:17 IST | Dr. Love |

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Dr. LoveI am 26-year old and have been dating a 30-year old guy for a year now. In this period of time, we must have had sex less than five times. He says he is interested, but somehow never is. He checks out other women, so I know he experiences desire, but he just doesn't want to have sex with me unless I force him. He is a great guy. I just wish I could get him to want me physically though. How do I resolve this?

Have you asked him what the problem is? If the two of you have a great relationship, have you considered speaking to a professional together to try and arrive at a way of dealing with this? Physical intimacy is important to any relationship. Ask him how important this relationship is for him, and if he wants to do something to fix it. A surprisingly large aspect of sexuality is mental, so there may be things you can both do to find out why this is a problem. Have a frank discussion about what he likes physically.

My boyfriend hasn't told anyone about our relationship, and this bothers me a little. He loves and respects me a lot but says he doesn't want anyone to know because some of his friends may have a problem with me. This doesn't make any sense to me. Am I overreacting?

You have valid concerns, especially if he isn't being completely open about why his friends may have a problem. If you think he needs time to sort this out, why not tell him that you are okay with it, provided he starts to be more open about it?

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