'He expects me not to have an opinion'

Updated: 19 October, 2020 07:25 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

Things have been going pretty well but, every once in a while, he accuses me of being 'high maintenance'. I don't know what he means by this, because I don't think I go out of my way to be difficult about anything.

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr Love

I am a 28-year old and have been dating a 30-year old guy for six months. Things have been going pretty well but, every once in a while, he accuses me of being 'high maintenance'. I don't know what he means by this, because I don't think I go out of my way to be difficult about anything. He says that I am finicky about which restaurants we go to, and I tell him that this is only because I prefer restaurants where the food is good. Is it wrong to know what I like or dislike? He expects me to not have an opinion. I think that is unfair. What do I tell him?
Why can't you tell him exactly what you just said, that it is unfair to stifle how you feel just to come across as accommodating? Why can't you ask him to explain what he means by high maintenance, and put across your point of view? This may not be a serious issue, because it is usually just poor communication that leads to misunderstandings. The two of you will take time to get to know each other and understand things from the other's perspective. Until that happens, talk about it, take his comments seriously, and respond. If you don't understand what he means by something, just ask.

Should I end the relationship because my girlfriend is a virgin and I am not? I just feel uncomfortable about it even though she doesn't have a problem with this.
I'm not sure what the problem is either. Are you upset because she is a virgin? Do you have specific reasons for what makes you uncomfortable? Why not tell her how you feel and explain what bothers you? Human sexuality is normal and shouldn't turn into something that makes either of you uncomfortable. I suggest you think about what the issue is, and why you are prepared to let go of this relationship.

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First Published: 19 October, 2020 04:03 IST

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