He expects me to do all the chores

Updated: Jun 06, 2020, 04:21 IST | DR Love |

We spend a lot of time in my apartment, and he barely helps with a single chore. When I ask him to do something, he does it resentfully

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

picI am a 28-year old woman and have been in a relationship with a guy for three years now. We are still in love, but the thing that worries me is how he seems to be getting lazier and lazier all the time. He used to do a lot more when we first began dating, but now expects me to do almost everything. We spend a lot of time in my apartment, and he barely helps with a single chore. When I ask him to do something, he does it resentfully. I am afraid of taking this relationship to the next level because of his behaviour, but he doesn’t seem to understand it. What can I do to get him to change?

You should start by asking him about where he thinks this relationship is going and point out that it can work only if you are both committed to working equally hard to make that happen. If he doesn’t get the message, and continued to make no effort, you won’t really have a choice but to walk away, because to not do so will only lead to resentment against him in the future. You will also be unfair to yourself by accepting a partner who doesn’t respect you as much as you respect him. I say this because doing the chores are also a sign of how much you value someone and want to help make their lives easier.

My girlfriend can’t seem to understand that we don’t have a future together anymore and it is driving me mad daily because I am tired of telling her to end this. What can I do?

You can simply stop speaking to her until you get the message, although that is a childish and fairly cruel way of handling it. The sensible thing would be to not engage in activities or conversations that make it seem as if you are a couple. Try speaking to your common friends because she may simply need to hear this from someone else.

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