He fears I may have a one-night stand one day

Aug 16, 2018, 07:23 IST | Dr Love

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He fears I may have a one-night stand one day
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr. LoveMy boyfriend wants me to skip attending an office offsite because he is afraid I may have a one-night stand. How do I get him to let me go?
Why do you need his permission? If he doesn't trust you, how will this relationship work? If you have to attend something, you should, because you're an adult with the right to make those decisions. He needs to understand that he doesn't own you.

I am a nice guy who cares about women, respects them and understands boundaries. Yet, I have been dumped by three girls over the past two years. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, and my friends tell me I'm being too nice and should be a bit of a bad guy because a lot of girls seem to like that. I don't know if it makes sense for me to change who I am just to fit this idea, but I can't understand where I'm going wrong either. Maybe girls don't like or appreciate the fact that I'm too easy-going, which doesn't make sense. I don't even feel like dating anymore because I feel as if it's going to end even before a relationship begins. How do I get over this and stop these things from happening?
It doesn't sound as if you need to change anything. Blaming yourself for something not working out is easy, but you have to recognise that it takes two people to make something work. There's no such thing as being 'too nice'. You're either a decent human being or you're not, and if the people you date don't acknowledge or respect that, it simply means you haven't found someone who understands you yet. You may probably go through a lot more relationships that don't work out, but changing who you are as a person to meet some idea of what your friends think you should be is not the most sensible thing to do. Stick to being yourself. Someone will appreciate you for that alone, someday.

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