'He gets distant with me whenever I talk to my exes'
Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
My boyfriend has a problem with me talking to my ex-boyfriends. He doesn't say this out loud because he knows I won't tolerate it, but his behaviour towards me changes the minute he finds out that I have had a conversation with someone I used to date. It's so ridiculous that he stops speaking to me for a day or two even if I happen to comment on something an ex-boyfriend of mine as put up on Facebook. This is childish behaviour, because he knows I am not interested in dating them, but the fact that he refuses to say why he feels this way annoys me enormously. How do I get him to see things from my point of view?
You already have the answer to your problem, if you think about your question a little. If, as you say, he doesn't say anything out loud because he knows you won't tolerate it, what exactly do you mean by 'tolerate'? Do you yell and ask him to back off? Do you refuse to listen to what he has to say? Have you discouraged him from telling you how he feels, in any way possible? Why don't you examine your behaviour and figure out if the two of you have open lines of communication that aren't hindered in any way? If he has a problem and would like to talk about it, why doesn't he? Has he ever tried to? If you make it conducive for him to tell you how he feels, won't that give you an idea of why he behaves in a particular manner? More to the point, won't that also give him what you want — an ability to see things from your point of view?
I want to date at least three people before I marry, but I don't know if this is possible considering how old I already am. Is there any research that points to higher chances of people having better marriages because they have had many relationships?
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