He has changed after he moved jobs

Updated: Sep 02, 2019, 08:49 IST | DR Love |

I know he is focused on his career, but don't know what to make of this. He is complicated and difficult to deal with.

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI accepted my feelings for a guy at my workplace. We met once or twice and used to chat on the phone. He left the organisation about a month ago. We still talk occasionally and plan to meet, but it never seems to materialise. I know he is focused on his career, but don't know what to make of this. He is complicated and difficult to deal with. Sometimes, when I ask him about random things, he replies rudely and apologises later. I am always the one who initiates a conversation. This wasn't the way things were when he was in the same office. This is the first time I have openly accepted my feelings for somebody and shared it with them. Please help. — Ash

People do change when their environment changes. This guy you have feelings for may have seemed different because he saw you on a daily basis. You haven't said anything about his feelings for you though. Did he acknowledge and reciprocate them? Did he signify an intention to get into a relationship with you or continue one after leaving? I suggest you resolve that first, by simply asking him what his intentions are. Talk about the big questions, and you may find clarity about things like a drop in communication.

I am a 57-year old married man. I have a normal sex life, but still like using coconut oil to masturbate regularly, while imagining sexy women. I get immense pleasure by doing this. Is this a good habit? — Sumeet R

There is nothing wrong with masturbation, because the health benefits are significant. I suppose your question has more to do with guilt, which is natural given that we are always taught to repress our sexual urges. If it makes you happy, I'm not sure what the problem is. If it bothers you, consider speaking to a therapist.

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