He is dating me, and meeting his ex, too

Published: Aug 12, 2019, 05:15 IST | DR Love

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He is dating me, and meeting his ex, too
Illustration: Uday Mohite

Dr. LoveI have been dating a guy for the past two months. We went out a few times and enjoyed each other's company a lot. However, I recently found out from a common friend that he has also been meeting his ex-girlfriend over this period. He hasn't mentioned this to me at all, and I haven't asked him about it because I don't want to come across as a creepy person who is stalking him in some way. At the same time, it bothers me because if that relationship is truly over and he wants to consider a new one, shouldn't he cut off all contact with his ex or at least mention why he is still meeting her? What do I do about this peculiar situation? I really like him and, until I found out about this, I genuinely thought we had some kind of connection. I am no longer so sure. What should I do?

Let's consider the facts. The two of you have met a few times over the past couple of months. You are not in a relationship, nor has he given you any indication of wanting to be in one just yet. He has met his ex-girlfriend, presumably because they are still in touch and adults really can continue to have friendships with exes if they want to. I think you're being hasty and a little judgmental here, because you want him to stop speaking to her and tell you why he is meeting her. If this develops into a relationship, he will probably explain his actions and tell you more about his past and his personal life. For now, given that the two of you are still dating and cannot really claim to each other really well, I would say it's his prerogative to decide what he wants to share or withhold. If you really like him, why not spend more time with him, allow him to get to know you better and vice versa, and then arrive at a more informed conclusion?

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