He is not who I though he was...

Updated: 12 August, 2020 04:55 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I first accepted this behaviour thinking it was because of anxiety, but I now feel as if this is who he really is and he has only managed to not reveal these sides of him before because we weren't occupying the same space for so long

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

DR LOveI have started to change the way I look at my boyfriend after being locked in with him during the pandemic. He doesn't seem like the person I thought he was. He is difficult, doesn't listen to anyone, and is rude for no reason. I first accepted this behaviour thinking it was because of anxiety, but I now feel as if this is who he really is and he has only managed to not reveal these sides of him before because we weren't occupying the same space for so long. Should I end this relationship?

You can end something if you believe there is no hope. It is easy to do that but, you should also look at why the two of you decided to move in together and whether you are both committed to being in this for the long run. If you are, this can be looked at as an opportunity because it takes time for anyone to reveal what they really are. If you have a clearer picture of what your boyfriend is, warts and all, you both know what you have to work with. Ask him to be honest about who you are too, and if he thinks you are different now that he has spent more time with you. Be open about the future of this relationship because you both only stand to gain by having an honest conversation about this.

My wife is almost 34 years old and sometimes behaves like a teenager. She is childish and it is frustrating. How do I get her to start acting like an adult?

This is a matter of perception because your wife may believe she is acting like an adult. If the two of you are struggling with what seems to be a simple issue related to communication, it may make sense to nip this in the bud by inviting a third neutral party to take a more objective look at your problem. Consider speaking to a counsellor and being open to professional advice.

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First Published: 12 August, 2020 04:59 IST

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