He is too close to a female colleague

Updated: Aug 21, 2019, 08:27 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

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Dr Love

My husband has been very close to a female colleague of his for a few years now. There is nothing romantic about this, and he doesn't have any feelings for her. He is just fond of her as a friend. I can't shake the notion that this is affecting our marriage though, and can't really explain why. I am jealous of how they share jokes and have conversations about the office that I don't understand because I don't know who they work with. When I talk to him about this, he says I am being unnecessarily possessive and trying to prevent him from having a life outside our marriage. Am I being unfair to him?

There's nothing wrong with being possessive, because it is a trait we all share, but you should evaluate your feelings towards your husband's colleague objectively. From what I gather, she happens to be a good friend of his and you believe this is jeopardising your marriage in some way. Would this be a threat if the colleague was male? Jealousy about them sharing jokes about people at work ignores the fact that you and your husband share a life together that his colleague is excluded from. Try and explain to yourself why this bothers you, and what you hope to accomplish by preventing your husband from interacting with her. It should help you answer that question about whether you think you are being unfair.

My girlfriend is extremely fussy when it comes to food and it always makes us argue when we eat out. How can I get her to change that?

Were you not aware of her eating habits before you began dating? If you chose to be with her, why can't you try and be more understanding or arrive at a compromise? If she is fussy about what she eats, how exactly does that get in the way of you being able to eat what you want to? Is she preventing you from eating something?

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