He is too lazy and I run the show alone

Updated: Apr 17, 2019, 15:14 IST | Dr Love

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Dr LoveMy partner is incredibly lazy, which doesn't sound very serious but is because it is starting to affect me in all kinds of ways. We live together, but he doesn't do anything to make my life simpler. He just puts money into our joint bank account at the start of every month and expects me to manage everything from grocery shopping to paying utility bills on my own. When I ask him to do more, he promises to, but doesn't actually do anything, which then forces me to rush in and get things done because our household needs to run. I am tired of having this conversation with him. He means well, but his parents have always had someone to do his work for him, so he is used to it. At the same time, I really do love him because he is a great guy. How do I change this behaviour? Without it, I can only imagine things getting worse if we move our relationship to the next level.
Your boyfriend is clearly living in another era, which isn't as surprising as you might think, given the sense of entitlement that so many Indian men grow up with. To allow him to get away with it is to prevent him from becoming a better person. If he doesn't pull his weight, he needs to understand the repercussions. I suggest you stop trying to do everything on your own, because that is the only way he will be able to figure out that his actions — or lack of them — lead to consequences. This may sound like a childish way of doing things, given that you will suffer from not paying utility bills too, but his inability to change will only put more pressure on you in the coming years. To allow him to get away with his lack of responsibility now will only encourage him to take you for granted, which is not okay. It's 2019 and he needs to be dragged kicking and screaming into this era.

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