He is unneccesarily sarcastic with me

Published: Feb 05, 2020, 05:15 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I don't say anything because I don't want to sound like a nag, and I want to be in a relationship that isn't stressful

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI am a 23-year old and have been dating a 25-year old guy for three months. We get along when we go out, but he tends to be unnecessarily sarcastic about my life which makes me feel bad. I don't say anything because I don't want to sound like a nag, and I want to be in a relationship that isn't stressful. At the same time, I feel that not saying anything will make him think it is okay to make these comments. I want honesty, but I also want to be someone he can say anything to. How do I find this balance?

So, you want no filters, but you also want boundaries? The two of you haven't been together for very long, and the sooner you talk about how you feel when he says something, the easier it will be for him to understand you better. He may assume it is okay to say something sarcastic because you don't have a problem. In this case, your silence only affects you. Wanting to be cool and acceptable is great but stifling yourself to avoid coming across as a nag is naive. You will find a way to reconcile these things but saying what's on your mind is always a great start.

I have been dating a girl for three months and we haven't had sex yet. She is not a virgin, so I don't know what the problem is. Whenever I ask her about it, she says she simply needs more time, but doesn't give me a good enough reason. What can I do about this?

Being a virgin has nothing to do with whether someone wants to have sex with you or not. It's about consent, because it involves two adults. If she needs more time, you simply have to respect her decision. If you want her in your life, and trust her decisions, allow her to take this call. You may want to have sex, but her wishes aren't any less important than your own.

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