He is way too negative for me...

Updated: Jul 23, 2020, 04:54 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I am an optimist, so I thought I could just accept this as part of who he is, and we would be fine together

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

DR LOveI have been dating a guy I like very much for a year now. There are many great qualities about him, except for his overwhelming negativity about everything. At first, I just took this in my stride because I thought he was just pessimistic by nature. I am an optimist, so I thought I could just accept this as part of who he is, and we would be fine together. Over time, however, I am beginning to feel as if his constant negativity is rubbing off on me. It makes me depressed, which is strange because I have always been a cheerful sort of person. How can I deal with a person so negative? I don't want his presence to change who I am in the long run. Is this relationship just a bad idea?

If you believe he can affect your personality in some way, and change who you are, why assume the opposite cannot happen? We rub off on other people all the time, and negative people are as prevalent in society around us as positive people are. You have to try and figure out what you want out of this relationship, how you see your future with this person, and how much you are willing to put up with to make this work. I'm not saying it is easier to just reject his negativity and move on, because people we are close to will obviously have an impact on how we think, but putting things into perspective and speaking to him about how this is affecting you may help.

Is it normal to have a crush on someone you know only via social media? I think I am madly in love with someone on Twitter and don't know what to do.

Everything we put up online, for public consumption, is a persona. You can have a crush on someone but being madly in love should depend upon how you interact with someone in person. Why not try and meet in real life first?

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