He says I am selfish for wanting sex

Updated: 06 August, 2020 04:53 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

It makes me feel awful, as if I am constantly forcing him to have sex with me and it's not a nice feeling

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

DR LOveMy partner keeps calling me selfish because I ask him to spend more time in bed. He thinks the physical aspect of our relationship isn't as important as being mentally compatible, but I strongly disagree. If we are not physically compatible, I don't see this relationship lasting very long, but he doesn't get that. It makes me feel awful, as if I am constantly forcing him to have sex with me and it's not a nice feeling. I would like him to understand my point of view, but he just doesn't get it. What should I do?

You're right about the importance of physical intimacy, and your partner is clearly barking up the wrong tree if he doesn't see it. If sex feels forced, it isn't going to be very pleasant for either of you. This isn't just about a difference of opinion, and he needs to understand that the future of your relationship depends upon you both being able to resolve this.

There is something seriously wrong with my ex-boyfriend and his obsession with me. We split up over six months ago, but he still keeps a check on who I go out with. I am constantly worried because it feels as if he may say or do something if I get into another relationship. How do I deal with this?

If your ex is crossing boundaries and harassing you, it may make sense to speak to someone in authority and get them to have a word with him. What he is doing is clearly wrong, and you shouldn't have to worry about speaking to someone or being in a relationship, given that he is no longer part of your life. Speak to friends and family, get common friends to have a chat with him, and send him a message about turning to the law if things start to get out of control. You shouldn't have to feel unsafe in any way and he needs to respect your boundaries.

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First Published: 06 August, 2020 04:53 IST

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